Discussion: handicap vs. disabled What's the Big Deal?

[m8fan11]

There is a belief out there recently (or maybe i'm just now noticing) that the word "handicap" is considered slang or maybe even as ignorant as "cripple" or "retard". Why is this? What exactly about the word "handicap" is heinous or uneducated? I personally just see it as another word. After discussions with fellow handicap/disabled friends, I would like you input.

[Tokah]

I'm honestly not sure why I dislike "handicapped" so much, but I really do. My best guess it generational. There was a time when "cripple" was an oft used, serious put down, but it got phased out for pejorative terms like "gimp" and PC terms like "handicapped" and silly things like "vertically impaired". These days, I've rarely heard it used except in jest, so the term crip or cripple doesn't bug me, and I joke with it myself. But handicapped is a term people use seriously, especially government and middle aged and older people, but without thinking.

There are things I like less, though:
Enfeebled
Handicapable
Differently Abled (even if we are, doesn't stop it from being a dumb term)

Overall, people like and dislike different terms. Spaz is a much less pejorative term in the US than in Europe, for instance. I try not to take offense to any term that isn't used specifically to be rude, even if its not my personal favorite.

[Ric]

When I was invited to get a gmail account, I chose "gimpyric@gmail.com" as my first choice. I don't let mere words upset me much, so throw that politically correct crap out the window.

But its a double edge sword, as I don't want to offend anyone.

[KeepItRollin']

As an investigator fo a Disabled advocacy lawfirm I often have to go to court as an expert witness. The term "Handicap" is taboo and the accepted term used is "Disabled"..

[Ric]

Did you read that? Keep it Rolling is an "Expert"! Just Kidding, I wish I had a gig like that! How did you pull that one off?

[Wheelchair]

Within the community, we've always been taught to use
the equal terms of TABS and DABS. You will find that
they both roll off the tongue with ease when in both
formal and informal discussion.

Which leads me to a question about the difference
between "Disabled" and "Disability"

Best Wishes

[Starlord]

I forget who it was, but a lovely lady says disabled is Doing it sitting abled. I use the term handicap parking all the time, as that is the general usage. I am not handicapped or handicapable, I am disabled due to a leg injury at first, then COPD and a bad back. My body cannot do what it once did, but my mind finds this impossible to accept at times, then I overdo and end up hurting.

[Lola]

i stick with the term disabled. i don't like handicapped and other dumb terms like handicapable or physically challenged

[FROG]

I really don't like any of the terms (even disabled). Maybe I am in denial but I think of myself as equal to any AB. I just get things done in a different way (like I roll across the room when others walk, etc.). I honestly don't care what others are thinking about me and the chair. If they have any problems or hangups there, it is their problem not mine (I have enough challenges in life without adding their problems to the list LOL). If they like me, and I like them, fine; then we can proceed with relationships. If not, we will just quietly go our own way. I used to get all caught up in the psychology and significance of the chair, but, somewhere along the line it became a less significant piece of my life and now I am a happier person. They can call me anything they please and it won't significantly change my direction in life.

My only firm request is that they don't call me..........





LATE FOR DINNER!!! ;) :020:

[KeepItRollin']

Did you read that? Keep it Rolling is an "Expert"! Just Kidding, I wish I had a gig like that! How did you pull that one off?

It all started when I was taking a course at a public college. About 1/2 way thru the course was taken over by the Job Corp and transferred to their facility. I went to go to the 1st class there and couldn't get pass the security gate, they said the site was not accessable! Whoops! A Federal building and I'm denied access because I'm in a wheelchair..Big mistake..Made local papers and TV news and I was swarmed by Lawyers wanting the case! I did some research and found one that was legitimate and has never lost a case..He took it and won a bundle of $$ for me..Thru this we discussed my background as a building contractor. I had all the hi-tech laser measuring tools and such and he asked if I would do some work for him as a private contractor..He gave me a load of books to study about ADA regs..
They now call me when someone thinks they have found a violation and I'm the 1st one to go check it out to see if it legitimate or just something frivolous..If it's legit I take photos and measurements of the violations and send to them for evaluation..That's my job and sometimes if it goes to court I'm called in as an expert witness to verify that I'm the one that took the photos and measurements and that they are true and accurate..
The fee I charge isn't too shabby either!

[KeepItRollin']

To make it worse they also denied access to a blind guy with a service dog!!

[FROG]

Okay KIR......I WANT YOUR JOB!!! Seriously, does he need anybody in LA, Ventura counties or points north? I remember from that other board (what was it's name?) when you went through the classroom accessibility fiasco. Glad to hear that it turned out well for you.

[Nelliot333333]

Wow, Ric...I didn't realize you had taken a horrible situation and turned it into a profit making venture. That's just wonderful!!!!! I remember how stressed you were at not being able to get into that class to learn a different trade. Funny how life leads us if we let it.
Nellie

[KeepItRollin']

I guess you guys who know me as Ric also should add a "k" at the end "Rick" so not to get cornfused with the top dawg on here!!

[Lola]

deal, ricK ;)

[amyk]

i like tokah's explanation - 'handicapped' has always bothered me because people use it seriously when they describe me... also, it has conoctations of mental disabilities here. mentioned before, use of the terms 'spa' or 'spaz' are completely unacceptable here........ but yes, i myself try to only get offended when i hear something thats intended to be an insult. when someone rather rudely points out my wheelchair, im the first to say 'im a slow developer'. but if someone directs me to the handicapped toilets or counters or parking, it sets my teeth on edge. im nothing if not complicated.

by the way, first post and glad to be here. i can feel the tension lifting!
amy

[FROG]

Welcome aboard amyk. Glad you are here.

[Pete]

I try not to be offended by words only intent, Some people do at times use terms that grate on me, but unless their intent was to insult me, i just let it slide.

Oh, and hi amyk, good to see you join us.

[Alex_McWheelie]

I don't really worry too much about how people refer to my limitations. I realize that for many it is their first time interacting with someone in a wheelchair so I try to cut them some slack. Besides, if someone is trying to insult me I have some choice words in my vocabulary to counter with. :)

[dawhealer]

Preferred terms for me are: disabled and, when I'm with close friends or other gimps, gimp or crip. Don't know why, but even when it's been intended as an insult gimp has never bothered me. Go figure. Can't stand handicapped or crippled. Just goes to show how diverse the crip community is.

The euphemisms that some people come up with that have already been mentioned here make me want to hurl. They're all just a little too cutesy for me, but the two worst by far are "special" and "special needs." :042:

[captwilly]

men bro: I dont have the time or inclination to abide folks who have a problem with me or my chair. Like me or not that is your choice.....wm

[Sled Dawg]

I do not like the word, "handicapped" as I do not play golf. I do not like the word, "disabled" and I am other abled; I figured out how to do most things I did before losing my legs, except get on the roof and I still got that 1/4 ton electric cable hoist that I hope to use to do that.

I do, however, like the word "cripple" after it was explained to me by Peg Leg Pete, a truly awesome friend who introduced me to my first Black Diamond run at Arapahoe Basin. He likens "cripple" to the Fortress Bombers of WW2 that would make their runs shot to sh**, leaking hydraulic fluids, oil, on fire, no landing gear, and bringing its crew back home.

I, as most amputees, use the word "TAB" as in "temporarliy abled bodied", as this is truism, I basically used it when explaining what happened to me, to raise awareness that being abled bodied can change in a heartbeat.
Abled bodies then have a term to think about, and the idea that, "Yes, this can happen to me."

SD

[Timm]

I don’t use and or like both terms nor do I like AB as to me that’s a slang for my wife and I treat her like I like to be treated.

When you start using terms that starts the mindset in to grouping people or ones self to a certain stereo type.

For me success is measured by my name, skill and what I bring to the table!

[Tarkus]

I don’t use and or like both terms nor do I like AB as to me that’s a slang for my wife and I treat her like I like to be treated.

When you start using terms that starts the mindset in to grouping people or ones self to a certain stereo type.

For me success is measured by my name, skill and what I bring to the table!

Well said.

Be Big,
Alan

[Pete]

When you start using terms that starts the mindset in to grouping people or ones self to a certain stereo type.

I agreee Timm, once you start using terms like AB TAB you start falling into the them and us frame of mind.

[FROG]

You be a wise man Timm..........:022:

[dakotamidnight]

I don't like any of the current terms - I just refer to myself as a normal person who happens to use a wheelchair.

I don't have a condition that is grossly apparent though which makes it harder to not use a term. If someone asks me, rather than saying I'm disabled, I ssay I have back issues and thats why I use a chair.

[princessonwheels]

I have a strange sense of humour and am more offended by behaviour than words. This is strictly my opinion and is NOT intended to offend anyone else but, I regularly call myself 'crippled'. My wheelchair is wide too, so I use terms like 'move my crippled butt' and also refer to my wheelchair as my 'big butt'. I call my parking permit my 'limper permit' lol. I use these terms to refer to myself, and no one else. I am also careful who I use this term in front of. I chose to use them in this post as it's just an opinion and just a discussion, and someone asked for different points of view. I get more offended by people who do things like walk into me when I am stationary and then blame it on me. Or people who ask other people questions about me, when I am clearly right there, and speak as if I am not. Or people who discriminate. I don't think us being in wheelchairs is really much different than someone else. I think everyone has things they can and can't do. These days, disability (the term I use most, that and 'disabled' or 'physically disabled') is getting to be more and more of a characteristic, like wearing glasses or having a certain colour hair. I know we're not totally there yet but we're getting there. There was a time when glasses were taboo too, now it's a fashion accessory. I don't think a wheelchair will become THAT accepted but, really are we that much different than, say, someone who isn't good at math? Or someone that can't play baseball simply because they aren't good at it and no other reason? The only difference is that with us, it is more visible. But even then, so what? I don't much care what people call me. My own family doesn't accept my chair, and I don't care I just ask them to keep their comments to themselves, and to otherwise think what they like. (they tell me I don't need it etc). Terminology...I just don't care. You're talking to the chick who falls and laughs about it, and who makes fun of myself. I seriously just have more in life to worry about.

Please note that none of my opinions or comments are intended to reflect anything anyone else has said or thinks. It is strictly my own opinion/statement and in no way am I putting down or discounting anyone else's opinions.

Sarah

[amyk]

my personal favourite: look at them like theyre mental, like theyre insisting youre walking around on multicoloured stilts... and say 'in a WHAT???'

[Starlord]

Amen, FROG.

[amyk]

i just remembered something - during the winter i take part in sailboat racing every sunday. its a mixed fleet, so everyone gets a handicap (often called py number, or portsmouth yardstick) and the times in which you finish the race are calculated up at the end to give a place for each boat. pys are done according to the boat class, not whos sailing it. its a pretty competitive series, in the sea, and the conditions are not partic. easy. anyway, once last winter i did well and was 3rd over the line - as my boat has a quite high py number, i came first. but before the results were out, we had just got back to the club and were washing down the boat. there were 20 or so extra people who had just finished sunday lunch in the club dining room, and were relaxing on the balcony above us. anyway, this guy who was in a different boat shouted over to me 'hey amy, whats your handicap?' and i replied (als0 shouting - perfectly normal question) '1200', and it was only afterwards i looked up to see all those drained faces gaping at me in abject horror.......

he had been talking about my py number, of course, which is how i immediately reacted, but it was only afterwards we realised that all those people was thought it terribly rude of him to point out 'my infermity' and not try to ignore it, all they were all desperately trying to... i just found it funny.

[Chairdozer]

Here's several ideas. (Yes, I am sometimes a smarta$$!) :005:

1. Give them a "Yeah, so?" look and say "I'm in a wheelchair so I'm handicapped (or whatever term of "endearment" they used) and you're in shoes, does that make you light in the loafers?" :confused:

2. Look at them as if in shock and say in shear disbelief "NOOO! You're S#!%$*& ME!" :010:

3. Look at them in suprise and say "Thanks for telling me, I had no idea!" :dft002:

4. Say in your best game show voice "Now for the grand prize, tell me somthing I don't already know!" :031:

5. Say " Yeah, but I only go postal and run people down when somebody tells me that.:035: Now, what were you saying?" :confused:

[Sled Dawg]

I find the terms to be very useful in talking to upright walking people who have no clue and need explanations. Some are quite incapable of understanding anything unless labeled; I like the attitude you have Timm, but in my case what I say works with Mrs. Sled, too. The terms are not ever meant to be insulting, nor degrading; I liken it to I am like this, but I can run circles around your a$$.

SD

[princessonwheels]

Chairdozer, I like your answers. I'm a real smart*** too, and those answers are funny! I will definitely use some in the future.

The best is when I take a regular bus, as opposed to paratransit, and I get out at the terminal and someone says 'good for you, you did that all by yourself'. I look at the person and go 'so did you, give yourself a hug!' and then roll my eyes and keep rolling....lol

Sarah

[KeepItRollin']

When someone asks me why I'm in a chair I tell them I used to be a Rodeo Clown!!

[Lola]

lmao, KIR ! :D

chairdozer, i love your smart ass answers! better being smart than stupid, right? :D

hugs, lola

[DragonLady45]

Dear All,

Way cool queary!

I never cared for labels of any sort. I just don't like being put in someone else's box. I like to write as it often helps me 'sort myself out', but words have power. Each one conjures up a different picture for each of us, like an artist's brush stroke to canvas. I guess therein lies part of the problem for many people. As I've seen in this thread, different words mean different things to different folks. I personally have no problem with most words, but 'gimp' and 'cripple' always sort of grate on me---but that's just me. "Handicapped" reminds me of my bowling days as I had a pretty good handicap in my overall score.

I always wondered where I fit in on the scale of disability issues. I am currently not in a wheelchair, although I use one daily at either of my desks. I use a walker whenever I go out shopping---and I have to limit that. Even at the height of my illness, people did not seem to know how to deal with me. Ever have someone come up to you and claim that you "must've done something to piss God off!" as an 'explanation' (not that I asked either.) for you?:035:

A man in a wheelchair was sent to 'councel' me, but did not understand how I could do one thing but not another. For instance; I could not do a 'transfer' or get out of a chair by myself, but I could walk on a limited basis, he did not know then HOW to councel me. Doctors failed to understand the severity of my newfound 'disabledness' as did my own family. There was just this unseen illness that stole into my life and robbed me of certain abilities. Nobody ever saw it 'happen' physically. One day I could do this or that, and then one day I couldn't:044::012::044:.

I've often had to define this all on my own and I still don't quite know where that is, but words and labels just don't quite cut it either way. I don't FEEL disabled, but my body seems to be. I don't FEEL handicapped, but that is what is on the tag hanging in our car.

Sorry for the rant.

Peace All,
the DragonLady

[dixcee]

KIR....what an awesome job!!! You must be the right person for the job.....excellent:)

[princessonwheels]

Dragonlady

To all others posting on this thread, I hope I can be forgiven for getting a little off-topic but this was one post that has truly hit home and I'd like to reply.

Dragonlady, we have a few things in common. I know only what I've read in your post and will tell you a few things about me. My disability is unknown. No one really 'gets' that, and my family makes open remarks. They refuse to allow me a ramp. They make me walk the stairs. They think it will help me get 'stronger'. If I hold on, I am capable of doing this task but it is difficult and does not actually 'help' anything, just raises my pain levels and makes life more difficult. They don't understand why some days I am OK and other days I'm not so OK. Even the doctors are scratching their heads. My family thinks its psychosomatic. While I do not downplay the term, and certainly don't discount it, I've been evaluated and so far it comes up negative. Yet my family still believes it, despite several medical professionals all claiming me to be a 'medical mystery'. I too can use a walker but cannot do other things like pull myself out of the swimming pool at the Y. They assist me with a chair lift and my family sees this as an embarrassment, and not a help. People truly don't 'get it' and they won't until they are physically in my shoes. I use a chair most of the time, my family views it as 'limiting myself'. It's very sad that they view it that way. My chair minimizes my physical pain while maximizing my mobility and independence, greatly increasing what I can do and take part in. Sure, I hate having to use it. Sure, I have wonderful thoughts of getting up and moving around like others around me. But at the same time, I am grateful for a device that can allow me to do what I want. That is a powerful statement...that I can do what I want in my chair. Walking I cannot. I commend you for being able to keep your head up despite others doubting you and even making rude comments. Believe me this wasn't a post to direct attention back onto me but to let you know, I go through some of the same stuff. Not exactly the same, I know, but some of it. Please don't take this the wrong way...I am not happy you are disabled but I am happy to find someone else who doesn't have much explanation for their problems. It makes me feel better to know there are others out there too!

As far as labels go, I've already made comments but the more I think about it, the more I realize, I often just tell people 'I'm in a wheelchair', or 'I use a wheelchair' when I need to let someone know I need accessibility etc. They can stick their own labels on!

Sarah

[DragonLady45]

Dear Sarah,

I just read your post and I can understand EVERYTHING you wrote about! Not that I'd wish it on anybody either, but it sure is awfully nice to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings. It is ALWAYS good to know that you're not alone. My family isn't as bad as yours seems to be though---maybe because I have a diagnosis and you don't:016:.

I was so surprised at much relief I felt when there was a definite diagnosis, a definite name for the beast I was dealing with, something a doctor could tell my family. At first, they actually thought I was "faking it" to some extent---or seriously exagerating things.:035: Although why anyone would think that was beyond me, but I suppose I can understand it from a teenager's point of view. I did not have to wait so long for a diagnosis, but I cannot imagine what it's like to always wonder and to have others question your state of mind. You should know that I was NOT always able to keep my wits about me or keep my head up. :023:

My immediate family really didn't give me too much grief when all of the assistive devices started to show up. I was the one who had trouble accepting all of it. I had so much trouble with the idea of using a cane, a wheelchair and a walker. I still don't care much for it, but I use them when I have to. (I hope this doesn't show up all in bold, if it does, I really not yelling. I just can't see what's in bold type and what's not right now.:002:)
Hang in there Sarah! You just can't always make people understand sometimes. So stick with the people that DO understand.

Peace Always,
the DragonLady

[Nelliot333333]

The other day I ran into a gal I hadn't seen for about two years. She was walking along the sidewalk and I rolled up to one side, intending to pass her. (I love speed.) She stopped and looked at me, saying, "I know you don't I?" ..."How long have you been confined to a wheelchair?"...I always get thrown by that word confined and stammered around saying I don't have to always use it in the house, etc., ... the realized how I was apologizing for it's existence. I have to learn how to handle those things better as I felt very funny afterwards.

[princessonwheels]

Dragonlady

At this point in time, I do not have a definite diagnosis. I too have been accused of faking it, trying to get attention, etc. That dumb chair attracts enough attention as it is why on earth would I want more? Why on earth would I CHOOSE the chair in the first place?

I finally won the war to get my disability pension, back in December. Since then we have also done the paperwork to get me my own apartment, now that I have a way to have my own apartment. The wait is long...probably about 5 years. I have special priority status, but for a long number of reasons, I'm only willing to go into one building. It sounds picky and particular, but I have to go into subsidized housing so I want to go to a place I know has literally everything I need, and where I know I won't be pushing to get out of there. Once I move, I'd like to stay put and this is a place I know I'll stay put at. So, at some point in the future I'll have my own wheelchair accessible apartment, and I'll have the freedom to use my chair in the house etc. Life will get better then.

I don't always have my head up either. I don't get offended by terminology but I don't do 'well' with it either. When I am describing myself to others, I use the word 'disabled', because it's what other people understand. I still haven't fully accepted the term, and I cringe to hear it used on me by ANYONE. I don't get offended by any means I just hate to be thought of with that label. It is more a stubborness on my part. A very big need to accept what IS. I don't consider myself disabled. Yet the rest of the world does. The first time I got my own wheelchair, I sat in it and cried.

Sarah

[pogo492]

I can't walk,stand,turn over call me anything my pwc is a tool ask me any question I'll be glad to respond down to one arm I'm a 76 yr old teenie bopper in other words don't get old think young I worked many yrs alled-signal in power sys lab in phoenix az I use on screen key board & mouse please bear with me Rember you can insut my wife kick my dog DON'T MESS WITH MY COFFEE

[Pete]

Pogo said:
I'm a 76 yr old teenie bopper.

Hi there young fella :)
Funny, i don't feel old either.

[wcman]

That's funny! I also say stuff like that all the time. When people congratulate me because I can drive, even without hand controls, I ask them if they can drive. I then go on and tell them how proud I am for them. "Wow, you can drive all by yourself? That is so cool! You are amazing and such an inspiration!"

BTW, as my username shows -- "wcman" short for "wheelchair man" -- I put little mental energy into how people refer to me, unless it is a negative term that may be true. In those situations, I reflect upon my behavior or actions and try to make corrections to become a better human. I am most affected when called things like proud, arrogant, "know it all," or "independently wealthy." There is always some truth to sarcasm and when my friends call me or imply things like that, I have to go back and ponder what I have said or done to appear that way, in order to be more careful not to do it again. In my own mind, I try to be humble but every once in a while, I will say or do something that negates what I think about myself.

Sticks and stones can cause injuries but words need to be taken in context and the source examined. I am totally cool with crippled, handicapped, disabled, gimp, wheelchair man, wheelchair user, mister, etc. I do tend to cringe with politically correct terms, as others have also alluded to. Some terms just sound so contrived. There are times, when I must use "acceptable" terminology and I'm cool with that also. If presenting at a professional conference, writing an article, or speaking with an audience with whom I am not very familiar, I am careful to use words that will not offend the politically correct, bleeding hearts out there. It is interesting to note that those who are not crippled are more likely to be offended with terminology than those, like myself, who are actually crippled.

The Wheelchair Man



Chairdozer, I like your answers. I'm a real smart*** too, and those answers are funny! I will definitely use some in the future.

The best is when I take a regular bus, as opposed to paratransit, and I get out at the terminal and someone says 'good for you, you did that all by yourself'. I look at the person and go 'so did you, give yourself a hug!' and then roll my eyes and keep rolling....lol

Sarah

[DragonLady45]

Dear Ms. Sarah,

I'm so glad that you won your war for your pension. I am glad that you will eventually be getting your own apartment one day. How do you manage in the meantime? You still have that "evil chair"? Maybe it's possesed.:011:

I was fortunate enough to have my husband and kids around to take care of me. I hate having to say that, and I don't know why. I used to be just TERRIFIED if something were to happen to my husband. I know it sounds awful, but I was more worried about what would happen to ME should anything happen to him. I had no one else to turn to. My mind would just churn out these awful scenarios. I wasn't able to do anything for myself at the time---from getting off the toilet to rolling over in bed. I am happy to say that I have a good bit of functionality returned to me, but I still get scared sometimes. One of the symptoms is making a comeback.:029:

Anyway, it's not my intention to leave anybody else out, it just seems that Ms. Sarah and I have shared some of the same experiences. I suppose a lot of how the people around you has a great deal of impact on how you feel about some of those words. Along with their intent BEHIND those words. I used to feel like plastering a sign to the back of my wheelchair.:007:

Peace Always,
the DragonLady

[wildbill]

Frog I agree with you! Oh and don't call me late for dinner either!!

[Dons wife]

There was an unfortunate accident in the town I work in a couple of weeks ago. An elderly gentleman was on a scooter and thought he had the green light for the cross walk. Unfortunately, he was wrong, the light had counted down and turned red by the time he entered the crosswalk. A delivery truck started forward and struck his scooter. Fortunately other people stopped the truck immediately and the guy was only slightly injured. However, the comments to the story in our local paper online were quite typical. One of the first comments was "time to outlaw scooters in downtown", followed by "people should have flags mounted to their scooters, wheelchairs etc... fkags should be required as well as helmets". The topper of them all was a lady who said " OK, I see where using a helmet on a sidewalk might be a bit much, but without some warning (such as a flag), wheelchair riders",......(blah blah blah). "Also, in various small towns, motorized wheelchairs are used as vehicles, as in going from one's home to downtown via the street (or if he/she has no motorized wheelchair, a riding lawnmower might be used instead - I've seen it.)". By that time a lot of us had it with the stupid comments and let it fly. "Wheelchair riders" got me.

[dawhealer]

"Wheelchair riders" got me.

I think this thread proves that we'll never hit on just one universal descriptive term. What's perfectly acceptable to one person will push another's buttons. Good example here: http://www.scc.ca.gov/Publications/wheel.htm What are ya gonna do?

I thought the term was interesting when I first found out about the guide, but the lady who put the guide together is a w/c user herself. I have a copy. It's very informative and was quite useful when I was in the Bay Area a couple of years ago.

Michael

[dawhealer]

That's funny! I also say stuff like that all the time. When people congratulate me because I can drive, even without hand controls, I ask them if they can drive. I then go on and tell them how proud I am for them. "Wow, you can drive all by yourself? That is so cool! You are amazing and such an inspiration!"

Glad to see I'm not the only one who does that. I've also had people compliment me on how well I handle my chair. When they do that, I compliment them on how well they handle their feet. I say it with a smile on my face and it usually helps the person see how inane their "compliment" was. I absolutely cannot tolerate being patronized.

Oh yeah, wcman, I've incorporated my last name into my screen name. I couldn't let the opportunity pass. I actually DO have a sense of humor and I guess that's why the people who try to turn my disability into some kind of tragedy bug me so much.

Michael

[Noble StoneHeart]

I try and look at it this way.....My body is just like yours in most respects, we both have the same parts pretty much (boy/boy, girl/girl) two arms , two legs , one torso , one head , one brain .." here is where it definetely differs" as some use their gray matter better than others hehe! The main difference in our bodies "AB/ non AB" is that I unlike you have certain issues with parts of my body throughout my life " as you will one day have issues with yours in later years".....I on the one hand need tools of assistance to help me do the things that your body does daily without assistance, on the other hand if you stop and think .....as you go about your daily life of making a living , go to and fro , dressing , undressing , going potty, bathing , shaving, cleaning your home, cooking your meals , working upon your vehicles, do your daily projects at home and office.......YOU TOO must have tools to help you accomplish your day to day tasks ..............
SO next time you wish to toss a slurr at me or call me a gimp , handicapped, retard, clown, buffoon , wasted space or whatever !! Just remember your no SUPERMAN yourself Bucko! now you run home and tell your family that you met an intelligent person in a wheelchair today..........GodBless!

NobleStoneHeart

[Nelliot333333]

Love it, Noble....

[linda]

hi all
ive read the threads here and what an array of good answers!! way to go, peeps!!!

last yr, i had driven to safeway grocery store. summer time. dang near empty parking lot so my pick of spaces was wonderful! LOL

i pulled in, parked, flipped the toggle switch to open the slider door and deploy the ramp.

about the time i had transferred to the pwrchair and was ready to roll down the ramp, a woman came over and asked if she could help.

being so discouraged by "do good meddlers" - i decided to turn the tables in a positive way.

i looked at her and gve her a smile and said -- "Sure!! if u could just stand by the ramp and keep me company, thats all the help I need".

the look on her face was priceless!! she looked so relieved that all that was asked of her was to keep a stranger company. And, she complied!!

we walked/rolled to the entrance of the store and went our separate ways.

i got done, had the helper from the store load my groceries in the van. after i transferred back to the driver's seat, that same woman came over to my window and thanked me for asking her to keep me company. she said she was going to pass that along.

i dont worry about people tagging me with a label. most of us are raised to put a "title" or "label" to something to make it clearer in our minds.

i just go about my biz and if people want to stare, i give them a good memory.

Talula Bankhead, I think it was, said- --- if you cant hide it, decorate it!!! i wear clothing that is a bit "off" of normal standards. just enuf "off" to create a good, if not laughable, memory. just to let all know that my body doesnt work well, but the mind is sharp!!!

hugs
linda :)